Deer Whistles

Deer Whistles. My old car had deer whistles on the bumper. Wild life became statuesque when you approached, freeze-framed in the moment. I loved that car, 12 years old and 220,000 miles on it. Had replaced almost everything under the hood, but my mechanic said I should part with it while it was still worth something. "Blue" my CRV. They don't make them like that anymore.

We are down to a one car family and the car I am driving doesn't have a bumper. It has a sleek smooth design, but where to put the deer whistles? Thinking that air flow was all they needed, I put them subtly in the grill and drove on (there were no instructions with the new pair of I purchased). I guessed wrong. Driving back from Alabama, after dropping my daughter off at school, I came face to face with the most beautiful 6 point buck I had ever seen (it was also the first one I had ever seen). August, not mating season, mid evening in southern Virginia. There was little or no shoulder on this stretch of highway and the thickets and woods were close and heavy. He popped up 8 feet in front of me in the woods. I hoped he would stay put. Our eyes locked and not wanting to see anything, I closed mine at 70 mph. Then BUMP. Darn, couldn't he have stayed there?  Only a dent in my front bumper. I hope he got away OK. I could drive, there was minimal damage and in my heart of hearts I hoped he got up. But it I could not tell and I could not stop as cars behind approached.

Weeks later, I found an old (more than 20 years old) set of deer whistles, still in their original package at my parents house when I was cleaning it out. I had bought them a set many years ago and they sat in a top drawer until that day (so much for practical gifts). These were different. They had INSTRUCTIONS. 2 pages of instructions. I never knew you could learn so much about deer whistles. The most important instruction they stressed was NEVER PLACE THEM IN THE GRILL. Put them as far forward of the car as possible - if your bumper was not flat you could mount them on the hood, or even upside down under the bumper, but as far forward as possible. They had a diagram for every possible car configuration and bumper, so even non mechanicals like me could unlock and use the secret of their mystery. So now I have 2 sets of deer whistles on the car. If it was just my car I would have put them on the hood, but alas, it is a shared mode of transport, so the whistles unobtrusively have their residence under the bumper, leading the way down the road because they are as far forward as I could get them. Have yet to see freeze frames, but I am on the lookout to see if they work.